Oh. I have already solved the world's problems. Same old Ruth! We learn from our own Industrial revolution over 100 years ago!
My impressions are limited to meeting young Chinese people while I worked on outsourcing business opportunities. I have participated in more than one manufacturing facility leaving Silicon Valley to China.
The young people from China I met had several concerns in common:
1. The pressure put on "only children" to succeed. Pre-teen suicide is alarmingly high. If a child is not significantly above average, which by definition is over 50% of the children, the young people are at a high risk for depression and suicide.
The thinking has been said to be something like this ----
My parents are only allowed one child. I will be responsible for my parents in old age. I cannot compete. I am a disappointment. If I kill myself my parents can try for another child and the new child would be able to provide for my parents better than me.
2. The increasing demand to care for extended family members.
3. Heighten social life pressure. Networking is key to success.
4. Health care is not readily available.
In my limited exposure to the young people of China, this is my observation.
A 25 year old young competitor is too old to compete. You must make your money in about 5 years to supply for your family for the rest of your life.
Your family consists of yourself, your "only child" wife, your one child, your parents, your wife's parents, and all grandparents still living.
There is so much:
a) competition from over population,
b) fear of government ever changing policies
c) limited business practices with world trade
That;
It is coming common practice to lie, steal and cheat at a global level. It is a true dog eats dog existence for many. And the world has an abundance of opportunists more than willing to "use" these young people. And ADD to these young people's stress. Not a pretty picture. But I have a solution.
A win win win scenario.
The lesson learnt from our own industrial revolution at the turn of the last century. Several things will be played out. Child labor laws, more government laws and regulations, pollution, population moving from country life to centralized cities.
The one thing that motivated many during the last century was advancements in health care and quality of living.
The age expectation in China is 62-64 years of age. I dare say: that would be our expectation of a life without modern science, including pre-natal care, vaccinations, and I personally (as many have) had major surgery to preserve my life.
So if we think more globally and adopt an idea of perseverance; my answer to the fears of the USA is health care. NO NOT OBAMA CARE_____EVIL EVIL
I believe medical care could and should be available to every American, in fact everyone on earth. I have no problem with all having health care if we could assure all would receive the health care afforded by my husband (at a health premium of 1000 dollars a month. A 1000 dollars a month for him and a 1000 a month for me), or someone of Congress. My husband recently needed three years of extensive health care. Recent health care needed for my husband was never halted for pre approvals, out of network doctors, or questions as to what the health insurance would provide. My husband was referred to all the top doctors, treated like everyone should be treated and is now back to full time employment.
Money pours out of the USA at an alarming rate-----my solution---- which is already true up to a point. USA becomes the health facility of the world! We already train a large percentage of the doctors in the world. Our medical research and know how is far advance of most countries. When a top executive needs health care ---many of them come to the USA. Medical equipment, pharmaceutical advancements are of high quality.
As countries drain our economy we can replenish our funds with providing health care. Pump money (i.e. college loans) into medical universities. Foreign countries are sending their kids to our medical universities at the expense of their government and our tax money (foreign student grants and class priorities). We could educate each student to their ability and interest ----- nurses, aides, patient care, doctors, research, medical equipment assembly , chemistry, hospital janitors, landscapers, (some of our hospitals are filthy!!!)
Hospital carpenters, nutritionists etc.
But the foreign citizen must buy into our medical plan-----with strict pre-existing restrictions and pre approval needed------we could use Obama’s plan as a template!!! LOL
Medical equipment could be assembled in other countries to our standards---no lead paint, inferior metals, etc. Let those countries deal with the pollution, waste treatment etc------again to our educated standards.
We can also employee Americans to be the global manufacturing inspectors.
Ergo you want your key personnel their parents, grandparents --- you can pay for their care here in the USA.
We already do this to a point---- Many foreigners bring their parents here for social security and health care.
A person from the Philippines can come to the USA and only work 5 years in our work force to apply for the same benefits I would receive upon retirement. Based on their salary maybe they will receive more than a person who lives, works here their entire life. .
Trained in our schools, on our tax dollar, to work a profession for 5 years, receive professional salaries, (far above salaries of a teacher), to retire in luxury in their country.
Oh well you kind of get the idea------- make USA the high quality medical facility it could be-------with the idea of employing everyone and charging other countries to use our facilities. We will pay back our national debt fast at the rate hospitals charge.
Another plus-----we could open OUR space program again because we would be manufacturing our pure chemicals in a less gravity environment --- eliminating particles per million issues----- and there are also many more advantages allowed through this program
But alas they will not make me QUEEN of the world-----so I sit here with my perfect plan again-----until the men in the white coats come to get me -----so I can join all the other people who have a perfect plan for world peace and domination.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Life According to Ruth 101 --- Display Your Flag
I received an email encouraging Americans to fly the American flag on Sept 11 2011 -- the tenth anniversary of the attack on the towers.
Each year, I would go downtown San Jose on the sidewalk outside St Joseph's Church and watch the firemen ceremonies. The San Jose Firemen would make an arch with their extended ladders across Market Street. Then firemen from all over Northern California would come in full formal dress to pray for all firemen. What a spectacular scene!!!
This year I am in Chula Vista and wanted to fly an American flag. There is proper etiquette in the care, flying and storing of an American flag. This was common knowledge of most grade level children when I was growing up. I am amazed at how many young adults did not realize that there is such a thing as an US Flag Code.
The US Flag Code has changed over the years and when researching the subject today I found not all resources were in agreement as to the proper protocol. Such as the Veteran's code has not been updated to include Sept 11. Some codes have included Sept 11 as Patriot Day but do not mention to fly at half-staff.
So I investigated.
Patriot Day
Patriot Day has been added. to the Flag Holidays listed in section 174 of the US Flag Code. On December 18, 2001, President Bush signed Public Law No: 107-89, designating September 11th as Patriot Day. State and local governments and the people of the United States are asked to observe Patriot Day with appropriate programs and activities to honor the individuals who lost their lives as a result of the terrorist attacks on that date in 2001.
The day has also been designated as a day that the US flag should be flown at half-staff from sunrise to sundown, not just until noon as is done on Memorial Day. In addition the people of the United States are asked to observe a moment of silence on Patriot Day in remembrance of the victims.
Many people have asked if Government offices, schools, banks, etc. will be closed on that day. This seems to be a local individual decision and not mandated by federal or state law at this time.
Patriot Day should not be confused with Patriot’s Day, a regional holiday celebrated in New England on the third Monday in April which commemorates Paul Revere’s ride and the battle of Lexington & Concord during the Revolutionary War. The Boston Marathon is run on Patriot’s Day every year.
For a copy of the Public Law, visit the National Flag Foundation at www.americanflags.org.
Flag Holidays
It is recommended to display your American Flag every day of the year. Be sure to consult the following tables to make sure that you are flying your flag properly.
Days to fly the American Flag at Half Staff:
By order of the President of The United States
By order of the Governor of your state
May 15th Peace Officers Memorial Day (half staff all day)
Last Monday in May Memorial Day (half-staff until noon)
September 11th
Patriot Day (half staff all day)
December 7th
Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day (half staff all day)
Special Occasions for Flag Display
January 1 New Year's Day
January 20 Inauguration Day
February 12 Lincoln's Birthday
Third Monday In February Washington's Birthday
Varies Easter Sunday
Second Sunday in May Mother's Day
Third Saturday in May Armed Forces Day
Last Monday in May Memorial Day (half-staff until noon)
June 14 Flag Day
July 4 Independence Day
First Monday in September Labor Day
September 17 Constitution Day
Second Monday in October Columbus Day
October 27 Navy Day
November 11 Veteran's Day
Fourth Thursday in November Thanksgiving
December 25 Christmas Day
Each year, I would go downtown San Jose on the sidewalk outside St Joseph's Church and watch the firemen ceremonies. The San Jose Firemen would make an arch with their extended ladders across Market Street. Then firemen from all over Northern California would come in full formal dress to pray for all firemen. What a spectacular scene!!!
This year I am in Chula Vista and wanted to fly an American flag. There is proper etiquette in the care, flying and storing of an American flag. This was common knowledge of most grade level children when I was growing up. I am amazed at how many young adults did not realize that there is such a thing as an US Flag Code.
The US Flag Code has changed over the years and when researching the subject today I found not all resources were in agreement as to the proper protocol. Such as the Veteran's code has not been updated to include Sept 11. Some codes have included Sept 11 as Patriot Day but do not mention to fly at half-staff.
So I investigated.
Patriot Day
Patriot Day has been added. to the Flag Holidays listed in section 174 of the US Flag Code. On December 18, 2001, President Bush signed Public Law No: 107-89, designating September 11th as Patriot Day. State and local governments and the people of the United States are asked to observe Patriot Day with appropriate programs and activities to honor the individuals who lost their lives as a result of the terrorist attacks on that date in 2001.
The day has also been designated as a day that the US flag should be flown at half-staff from sunrise to sundown, not just until noon as is done on Memorial Day. In addition the people of the United States are asked to observe a moment of silence on Patriot Day in remembrance of the victims.
Many people have asked if Government offices, schools, banks, etc. will be closed on that day. This seems to be a local individual decision and not mandated by federal or state law at this time.
Patriot Day should not be confused with Patriot’s Day, a regional holiday celebrated in New England on the third Monday in April which commemorates Paul Revere’s ride and the battle of Lexington & Concord during the Revolutionary War. The Boston Marathon is run on Patriot’s Day every year.
For a copy of the Public Law, visit the National Flag Foundation at www.americanflags.org.
Flag Holidays
It is recommended to display your American Flag every day of the year. Be sure to consult the following tables to make sure that you are flying your flag properly.
Days to fly the American Flag at Half Staff:
By order of the President of The United States
By order of the Governor of your state
May 15th Peace Officers Memorial Day (half staff all day)
Last Monday in May Memorial Day (half-staff until noon)
September 11th
Patriot Day (half staff all day)
December 7th
Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day (half staff all day)
Special Occasions for Flag Display
January 1 New Year's Day
January 20 Inauguration Day
February 12 Lincoln's Birthday
Third Monday In February Washington's Birthday
Varies Easter Sunday
Second Sunday in May Mother's Day
Third Saturday in May Armed Forces Day
Last Monday in May Memorial Day (half-staff until noon)
June 14 Flag Day
July 4 Independence Day
First Monday in September Labor Day
September 17 Constitution Day
Second Monday in October Columbus Day
October 27 Navy Day
November 11 Veteran's Day
Fourth Thursday in November Thanksgiving
December 25 Christmas Day
Friday, September 2, 2011
Special Spinach Salad
I have a real passion for great Spinach Salads. A great Spinach salad is hard to beat and even harder to keep low calorie. I do not like most bottled dressings but I have found some great spinach salad dressings.
Recipe for dressing:
1/3 cup of olive oil
3 Tbs of sugar -- I use a substitute
2 Tbs White Wine Vinegar -- I use Rice Vinegar
2 Tbs Sour Cream-- I use Greek Yogurt
1/2 tsp ground mustard
Blend all ingredients on a covered jar and place in refrigerator
Add dressing when ready to serve over
1 pkg (6 oz) of Fresh Baby Spinach
1/2 cup of walnuts (toasted optional)
1/2 cup of dried cranberries or craisins
I do not have walnuts or cranberries tonight so I will probably use blueberries, fresh pear pieces and chopped fried chicken pieces.
Recipe for dressing:
1/3 cup of olive oil
3 Tbs of sugar -- I use a substitute
2 Tbs White Wine Vinegar -- I use Rice Vinegar
2 Tbs Worcheshire Sauce
1/2 tsp ground mustard
1/2 tsp of grated garlic
1/4 corn starch to thicken if desired (corn starch will need to come to a boil if added at the end. Increase heat long enough to mildly boil for three minutes and then return heat to low)
Blend all ingredients over low heat and set aside dressing until ready to serve over
1 pkg (6 oz) of Fresh Baby Spinach
2 hard boiled eggs chopped --- egg whites only if needed
1/2 cup sliced white mushrooms
1/2 cup of thinly sliced red onion
I love reading the menus in fancy restaurants explain wonderful spinach salads. Many restaurants will offer great sounding spinach salads with strawberries, orange vinaigrette's, all kinds of great ingredients along with wonderfully described dressings. If the salad is priced over 7 dollars --- my biggest pet peeve is spinach leaves with 2-3 inch stems on the spinach leaves, One strawberry sliced into 3 parts and a bottled or very old tasting dressing.
Of course I would not do it but the inner Ruth wants to send the spinach salad back and ask that the chef trim the spinach.
In an effort to provide a healthy diet --- Spinach Salads seemed like a sure thing. Iron, green, low carbs,........ but I have developed a sensitivity to oxalate. This sensitivity led to kidney stones (Ouch! Ouch!)
So I was given a CAN NOT EAT list by my doctor.
High-oxalate foods-higher to lower
rhubarb
spinach --- what??? my health food?
beets
swiss chard
wheat germ
soybean crackers
peanuts
okra
chocolate ---- HUH?
black Indian tea --- I love my stress reducing black tea
sweet potatoes --- my go-to food thickener ; and I love a great sweet potato pie.
Foods that have medium amounts of oxalate may be eaten in limited amounts.
Medium-oxalate foods-higher to lower
grits
grapes -- a favorite
celery
green pepper --- love it in my food
red raspberries
fruit cake
strawberries --- a favorite
marmalade - love it
So if I am to have a low glutton, sugar-free, low oxalate diet the list of okay foods is shrinking.
So we need to eat to live and not live to eat.
Cold Spinach Salad:
Recipe for dressing:
1/3 cup of olive oil
3 Tbs of sugar -- I use a substitute
2 Tbs White Wine Vinegar -- I use Rice Vinegar
2 Tbs Sour Cream-- I use Greek Yogurt
1/2 tsp ground mustard
Blend all ingredients on a covered jar and place in refrigerator
Add dressing when ready to serve over
1 pkg (6 oz) of Fresh Baby Spinach
1/2 cup of walnuts (toasted optional)
1/2 cup of dried cranberries or craisins
I do not have walnuts or cranberries tonight so I will probably use blueberries, fresh pear pieces and chopped fried chicken pieces.
Hot Spinach Salad
Recipe for dressing:
1/3 cup of olive oil
3 Tbs of sugar -- I use a substitute
2 Tbs White Wine Vinegar -- I use Rice Vinegar
2 Tbs Worcheshire Sauce
1/2 tsp ground mustard
1/2 tsp of grated garlic
1/4 corn starch to thicken if desired (corn starch will need to come to a boil if added at the end. Increase heat long enough to mildly boil for three minutes and then return heat to low)
Blend all ingredients over low heat and set aside dressing until ready to serve over
1 pkg (6 oz) of Fresh Baby Spinach
2 hard boiled eggs chopped --- egg whites only if needed
1/2 cup sliced white mushrooms
1/2 cup of thinly sliced red onion
Now for a Ruth Pet Peeve:
I love reading the menus in fancy restaurants explain wonderful spinach salads. Many restaurants will offer great sounding spinach salads with strawberries, orange vinaigrette's, all kinds of great ingredients along with wonderfully described dressings. If the salad is priced over 7 dollars --- my biggest pet peeve is spinach leaves with 2-3 inch stems on the spinach leaves, One strawberry sliced into 3 parts and a bottled or very old tasting dressing.
Of course I would not do it but the inner Ruth wants to send the spinach salad back and ask that the chef trim the spinach.
Now for the Irony of this blog: A true Ruthism (You can never win!)
In an effort to provide a healthy diet --- Spinach Salads seemed like a sure thing. Iron, green, low carbs,........ but I have developed a sensitivity to oxalate. This sensitivity led to kidney stones (Ouch! Ouch!)
So I was given a CAN NOT EAT list by my doctor.
High-oxalate foods-higher to lower
rhubarb
spinach --- what??? my health food?
beets
swiss chard
wheat germ
soybean crackers
peanuts
okra
chocolate ---- HUH?
black Indian tea --- I love my stress reducing black tea
sweet potatoes --- my go-to food thickener ; and I love a great sweet potato pie.
Foods that have medium amounts of oxalate may be eaten in limited amounts.
Medium-oxalate foods-higher to lower
grits
grapes -- a favorite
celery
green pepper --- love it in my food
red raspberries
fruit cake
strawberries --- a favorite
marmalade - love it
So if I am to have a low glutton, sugar-free, low oxalate diet the list of okay foods is shrinking.
So we need to eat to live and not live to eat.
Monday, July 18, 2011
The Shoe Skirt ---- Marriage Arguement number 145874
I would like to introduce a kindred spirit.........
I am an avid fan of "everyday people think up great ideas" And as an independent entrepreneur I am often looking for marketing ideas and encouragement. Ergo Holly Tucker's stories was one of those "Why didn't anyone think of that before stories?" More about Holly at the end of the blog.
This is a blog about Marriage egoccentrialism: Yes I do make up words and phrases as I please. Two people may marry with seemingly common backgrounds and experiences. But it is only after being married awhile do those "differences" start popping up. In our marriage it is the bed. ---- ok get your head out of the gutter---- it is in making the bed.
People who visited me know that! Believe me -- lots of people who knew me and my seemingly simple taste have been known to take a double take when they would see my fit for a QUEEN bed. Children always need to crawl in it. Parents knew their children would be fine. Because if I had a visitor overnight --- I let them sleep in my bed and there they rested very nicely.
On the other hand Tony's family is from Hawaii---- a bottom sheet, a light top sheet, done. Think hospital bed.....
So needless to say making the bed and adding all it's comfort components has been a life long lesson for Tony. And this week end -- I added this SHOE SKIRT to our bed making routine.
okay it is like this ---- under bed storage, box springs, shoe skirt, bed skirt, mattress, foam pad, feather comforter, special comforter protective sheet (and no Tony --- you can not double that as a bottom sheet here!!!) and yes all the winkles need to be removed from this protective sheet, Tony!!! pull on the corners and sides and tuck to remove winkles and keep it even. Flannel sheet---- bottom fitted sheet. Simple, practical, and after all these years should be able to be done.
Top sheet with pretty side down, large hem at the top, high enough to cover your shoulders (Stop Tony, do not fold the large hem down yet.) light blanket -- approximately 16 inches from top of the bed. Now you fold down the top sheet---- sleep pillows, comforter, decorative pillows, and when I can get away with it a bed doll. EASY!
So we went through this last night as we have once or twice a week for our entire married life. Minus the shoe skirt---- and then I reminded Tony he likes his top sheet tucked in at the bottom-- so he does that to his side of the bed.
And even after all these years --- I return to the bedroom to find--- Tony has tucked the bed skirt in between the mattress and box springs -- when he tucked in his top sheet-----
Okay Okay---- I took a deep breath and fixed the bed skirt.
I know TMI but if that is the worse I suffer with Tony---- I guess I will keep him.
ARTICLE COPIED REGARDING ANOTHER REMARKABLE SMALL BUSINESS SUCCESS!!!
Holly Tucker
"Shoe Skirt" | Hendersonville, NC
Have shoes taken over your closet? Who'd imagine such a common dilemma would result in a product, the "Shoe Skirt," featured in the first Everyday Edisons infomercial? (See it at www.shoeskirt.com) When Holly Tucker misplaced yet another shoe, she decided her closet was out of control and took charge by developing an ingenious way to store shoes—the world's first shoe organizer that provides extra storage hidden under a bed skirt, with up to 30 pockets for shoes or other items. As a matter of fact, Holly still uses the prototype she originally made for her bed, which holds 35 pairs of shoes! The footwear aficionado presented her idea at the Everyday Edisons Dallas casting call on March 15, 2008 — and a shoe star was born.
An Ohio native, Holly grew up with her siblings and her divorced working mother who also happened to be a successful business owner. As an undergraduate, she majored in French, which would pay off in a later career, and gathered an MBA from Golden Gate University. Disenchanted by supervising teamsters on a freight dock in one of her earlier jobs, Holly's free-spirited nature took over and she soon enrolled in travel school. She learned the ropes working at travel agencies for a few years before the budding entrepreneur took a chance starting her own travel business. Consequently, she's happy to have been able to travel extensively since then — and even met her spouse while traveling in Germany.
Holly credits her husband of 20 years, a retired Air Force fighter pilot, as her chief inspiration, but also acknowledges a science teacher in junior high school as a great role model who encouraged and inspired her, and remains a treasured friend to this day. Holly's fondness for felines—she has four cats, "her babies"—is one of her passions, as are reality television shows. Right now, Holly's biggest aspiration is to cut back on work and spend more time inventing and enjoying life.
"My husband came up with the motto ‘A shoe skirt in every house!'"
HOLLY TUCKER
I am an avid fan of "everyday people think up great ideas" And as an independent entrepreneur I am often looking for marketing ideas and encouragement. Ergo Holly Tucker's stories was one of those "Why didn't anyone think of that before stories?" More about Holly at the end of the blog.
This is a blog about Marriage egoccentrialism: Yes I do make up words and phrases as I please. Two people may marry with seemingly common backgrounds and experiences. But it is only after being married awhile do those "differences" start popping up. In our marriage it is the bed. ---- ok get your head out of the gutter---- it is in making the bed.
My bed is my sanctuary
People who visited me know that! Believe me -- lots of people who knew me and my seemingly simple taste have been known to take a double take when they would see my fit for a QUEEN bed. Children always need to crawl in it. Parents knew their children would be fine. Because if I had a visitor overnight --- I let them sleep in my bed and there they rested very nicely.
On the other hand Tony's family is from Hawaii---- a bottom sheet, a light top sheet, done. Think hospital bed.....
So needless to say making the bed and adding all it's comfort components has been a life long lesson for Tony. And this week end -- I added this SHOE SKIRT to our bed making routine.
okay it is like this ---- under bed storage, box springs, shoe skirt, bed skirt, mattress, foam pad, feather comforter, special comforter protective sheet (and no Tony --- you can not double that as a bottom sheet here!!!) and yes all the winkles need to be removed from this protective sheet, Tony!!! pull on the corners and sides and tuck to remove winkles and keep it even. Flannel sheet---- bottom fitted sheet. Simple, practical, and after all these years should be able to be done.
Top sheet with pretty side down, large hem at the top, high enough to cover your shoulders (Stop Tony, do not fold the large hem down yet.) light blanket -- approximately 16 inches from top of the bed. Now you fold down the top sheet---- sleep pillows, comforter, decorative pillows, and when I can get away with it a bed doll. EASY!
So we went through this last night as we have once or twice a week for our entire married life. Minus the shoe skirt---- and then I reminded Tony he likes his top sheet tucked in at the bottom-- so he does that to his side of the bed.
And even after all these years --- I return to the bedroom to find--- Tony has tucked the bed skirt in between the mattress and box springs -- when he tucked in his top sheet-----
Okay Okay---- I took a deep breath and fixed the bed skirt.
I know TMI but if that is the worse I suffer with Tony---- I guess I will keep him.
ARTICLE COPIED REGARDING ANOTHER REMARKABLE SMALL BUSINESS SUCCESS!!!
Holly Tucker
"Shoe Skirt" | Hendersonville, NC
Have shoes taken over your closet? Who'd imagine such a common dilemma would result in a product, the "Shoe Skirt," featured in the first Everyday Edisons infomercial? (See it at www.shoeskirt.com) When Holly Tucker misplaced yet another shoe, she decided her closet was out of control and took charge by developing an ingenious way to store shoes—the world's first shoe organizer that provides extra storage hidden under a bed skirt, with up to 30 pockets for shoes or other items. As a matter of fact, Holly still uses the prototype she originally made for her bed, which holds 35 pairs of shoes! The footwear aficionado presented her idea at the Everyday Edisons Dallas casting call on March 15, 2008 — and a shoe star was born.
An Ohio native, Holly grew up with her siblings and her divorced working mother who also happened to be a successful business owner. As an undergraduate, she majored in French, which would pay off in a later career, and gathered an MBA from Golden Gate University. Disenchanted by supervising teamsters on a freight dock in one of her earlier jobs, Holly's free-spirited nature took over and she soon enrolled in travel school. She learned the ropes working at travel agencies for a few years before the budding entrepreneur took a chance starting her own travel business. Consequently, she's happy to have been able to travel extensively since then — and even met her spouse while traveling in Germany.
Holly credits her husband of 20 years, a retired Air Force fighter pilot, as her chief inspiration, but also acknowledges a science teacher in junior high school as a great role model who encouraged and inspired her, and remains a treasured friend to this day. Holly's fondness for felines—she has four cats, "her babies"—is one of her passions, as are reality television shows. Right now, Holly's biggest aspiration is to cut back on work and spend more time inventing and enjoying life.
"My husband came up with the motto ‘A shoe skirt in every house!'"
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sometimes KNOWING is not enough--
Sometimes KNOWING is not enough-- when do you tell people the emperor has no clothes on and when do you just not speak?
Because sometimes I tell people the emperor has no clothes on and instead of being open to understanding what I am saying --- I am met with violent reactions including " she is just difficult to work with" she "is confused" and we need just ignore her.
I consider myself a student of life. I am constantly trying to understand this world around me. But I also sometimes speak out about "ignorance" being presented as fact. This has served me well in work. Sometimes people not educated in the subject would "guess" at an answer to a problem. Those not educated in the discipline would decide based on any numbers of opinions (not research)if they would accept the premise or not.
RESEARCH yes, before we go further, you can find research information to justify any position on any subject. But I am talking about exhaustive research with credible sources.
This reminds me if a discussion I had with my then 15 year old grandson. He was educating me on the wisdom of Marilyn Manson. My first reaction was "No more!!" but this particular day I actually had some patience. So I really listened to this rational of Marilyn Manson. My grandson began with how it was "the free thinkers" against the police, schools, and anyone in authority.
His rational was based on a death occurring in an IHOP parking lot. A so-called clean cut looking kid was driving wreck less and killed a "Gothic looking teen". The driver never spent time in jail for this death was the report.
So I challenged my grandson to find the date and time and research the case. I explained to him that court records would be available. The reasoning and results of the judges decision would be a public record. I imagined a wonderful learning experience to pursue. I could teach my grandson a new avenue of Internet use, we could write to and obtain court papers. A real first step to learning to investigative research. We could find other so called "quotes" and read further learning to understand deductive reasoning.
Although I had visions of real teaching and wonderful constructive interchange of ideas, I was met with Grandma has a closed mind. Grandma just hates Marilyn Mason and Grandma is part of that "them" against all "free thinkers". (sigh)
So because I am such a "Pollyanna" about education--- I started to research the Marilyn Manson quotes and examples myself. My grandson felt this was disrespectful and "evil" on my part to try to "belittle" all free thinkers of the world!! (sigh)
I use "Pollyanna" in the true understanding of the word. I am such a rose-colored glass, naive, very foolish Pollyanna that I set myself up for ridicule and judgement all the time.
So I document my thoughts and invite those who choose to "debate" my thinking. So we can both learn and gain in knowledge. Or just speak my truth and leave it to those to interrupt at their level of interest. Like my then 15 year old grandson, I find not everyone has that investigative mind and desire to exchange ideas.
I have known my own grown children have truly opened my eyes to different ways of looking at things. They have very valid information. But usually those ideas are presented in a HIT and RUN scenario. Mom, I am so mad at you that you are ignoring this "truth" and so I am leaving. SLAM the door shuts. Sometimes the concept is so new to me, it truly takes me a bit of time to process. I have to remember my children were raised in a different 1980's world than my own 1950's childhood.
Who knows maybe Marilyn Mason was revealing a real "cover up" story.
Because sometimes I tell people the emperor has no clothes on and instead of being open to understanding what I am saying --- I am met with violent reactions including " she is just difficult to work with" she "is confused" and we need just ignore her.
I consider myself a student of life. I am constantly trying to understand this world around me. But I also sometimes speak out about "ignorance" being presented as fact. This has served me well in work. Sometimes people not educated in the subject would "guess" at an answer to a problem. Those not educated in the discipline would decide based on any numbers of opinions (not research)if they would accept the premise or not.
RESEARCH yes, before we go further, you can find research information to justify any position on any subject. But I am talking about exhaustive research with credible sources.
This reminds me if a discussion I had with my then 15 year old grandson. He was educating me on the wisdom of Marilyn Manson. My first reaction was "No more!!" but this particular day I actually had some patience. So I really listened to this rational of Marilyn Manson. My grandson began with how it was "the free thinkers" against the police, schools, and anyone in authority.
His rational was based on a death occurring in an IHOP parking lot. A so-called clean cut looking kid was driving wreck less and killed a "Gothic looking teen". The driver never spent time in jail for this death was the report.
So I challenged my grandson to find the date and time and research the case. I explained to him that court records would be available. The reasoning and results of the judges decision would be a public record. I imagined a wonderful learning experience to pursue. I could teach my grandson a new avenue of Internet use, we could write to and obtain court papers. A real first step to learning to investigative research. We could find other so called "quotes" and read further learning to understand deductive reasoning.
Although I had visions of real teaching and wonderful constructive interchange of ideas, I was met with Grandma has a closed mind. Grandma just hates Marilyn Mason and Grandma is part of that "them" against all "free thinkers". (sigh)
So because I am such a "Pollyanna" about education--- I started to research the Marilyn Manson quotes and examples myself. My grandson felt this was disrespectful and "evil" on my part to try to "belittle" all free thinkers of the world!! (sigh)
I use "Pollyanna" in the true understanding of the word. I am such a rose-colored glass, naive, very foolish Pollyanna that I set myself up for ridicule and judgement all the time.
So I document my thoughts and invite those who choose to "debate" my thinking. So we can both learn and gain in knowledge. Or just speak my truth and leave it to those to interrupt at their level of interest. Like my then 15 year old grandson, I find not everyone has that investigative mind and desire to exchange ideas.
I have known my own grown children have truly opened my eyes to different ways of looking at things. They have very valid information. But usually those ideas are presented in a HIT and RUN scenario. Mom, I am so mad at you that you are ignoring this "truth" and so I am leaving. SLAM the door shuts. Sometimes the concept is so new to me, it truly takes me a bit of time to process. I have to remember my children were raised in a different 1980's world than my own 1950's childhood.
So a Ruth Truth: I adopted a while back. Speak up -- go on record --- document --- and let go.So like the naive child of the emperor's new clothes ---- It is okay to speak your truth; encourage and invite discussion regarding your truth ---- honor those willing to explore ideas with you and be willing to be proven wrong and change your mind.
Who knows maybe Marilyn Mason was revealing a real "cover up" story.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
The Purpose of a Funeral-----My Grief
My son came to my home the other day and viewed a wall of pictures. He asked "is this your wall of memories?" I said no. Those pictures came with the frames. I thought a display of pictures and frames were needed to accent the table below.
Because I carry my grief with me everywhere --- I guess someone would have thought I had done something with it by now. I have not. It is on my todo list. I follow a blog written by Gina Webb, a sweet and wonderful lady. She is processing her grief in a beautiful and couragous way. I admire her strenghth and envy her courage to put it out there. I also have a dear friend that when I "need" to do something I call her and through my tears ask her to take care of the "business" at hand.
I still think about doing things to process my grief. My family and friends (other than the one mentioned) steer far away from my grief. I have gone for professional help on learning to grief. For some reason that has been a series of incrediable misses and folly. If we believe that Spirit moves things along --- I would not claim a series of unprofessionalism but that Spirit had another plan to help me process my grief.
Spirit will lead me.
In my quest to heal----I read about grief, self helps etc. But I guess for some of us slow learners or healers. The wounds heal slowly. Just another hurdle in life. But when I do get "it". I might learn something to help others. Others as stubborn to work with as me!!
Some of my resources:
It is important to recognize that funerals are for the living - for those who will suffer the trauma of losing a loved one. It is through the funeral process that emotional needs are served for those who grieve. http://familyestate.com/main/funeral.html A Funeral Overview
by Jeffrey Wolowiec, Parkside Chapels, Chicago, Illinois
____________________________________________________________________________________
also found at: http://consumer.iccfa.com/node/2
Questions about Cemetery, Funeral Service,Burial,Cremation,MemorialsHome » » Funerals
What purpose does a funeral serve?The funeral and the ceremony that accompanies it are indeed very important. For those who are left behind, a funeral provides a place for family and friends to gather for support and to reminisce; an opportunity to celebrate the life and accomplishments of a loved one; a chance to say goodbye; and the focal point from which the healing process can begin. The funeral identifies that a person's life has been lived, not that a death has occurred. It is also important to notify the community that this person has died. There are people beyond the immediate family who have the right to grieve a death. For instance, what would have happened in the United States if there had not been a funeral for President John F. Kennedy?
____________________________________________________________________________________
The Purpose of the Funeral
Once we see and understand how we deal with death, it is time to consider how the funeral enters into this process. The funeral serves many purposes but is best expressed in the following statements.
The funeral:
Helps confirm the reality and finality of death.
Provides a climate of mourning and the expression of grief.
Allows the sorrows of one to become the sorrows of all.
Is the only time when love is given and not expected in return.
Is a vehicle for the community to pay its respects.
Encourages the affirmation of religious faith.
Is a declaration that a life has been lived, as well as a sociological statement that a death has occurred.
The funeral allows people to remember and honor their loved one in a special way.
It serves as a central gathering place for family and friends to give emotional support to one another.
It encourages mourners to face the pain of their loss and express their thoughts and feelings.
It helps the survivors to better cope with their grief and enables them to move forward in their lives.
It initiates the grief process while bringing closure to the death.
When we speak of the funeral we should define it in the terms of today. Many picture the funeral as an exclusively religious event with the body present in the casket followed by earth interment.
By funeral we mean the post-death activities that may include any type of meaningful ceremony to commemorate the life of the deceased.
While affirming the comfort and solace many find in the rites of their church, we also acknowledge that religious services may be inappropriate for those who do not have a religious affiliation.
The funeral should meet the needs of the family. The service, whether religious in nature or not, may include personal reading, stories, or anecdotes about the deceased, eulogies by family members, and musical numbers of meaning to the family.
While we affirm the value of the viewing of the remains as a means to confirm the reality of death, we also acknowledge that the family has the right to arrange whatever type of services they feel would be meaningful to them.
At the same time, we would encourage the family to consider other relatives and friends in the planning of post-death activities.
We believe that death is both a private and a public matter. While the death of a family member is a very personal loss, that death also effects distant family, friends, and the community at large.
Families who might not see the value in a service or desire "private" services should be urged to consider the needs of others to express their own grief at the loss of this person.
While the immediate family may or may not wish to view the body, they should be encouraged to make reasonable accommodation for others.
This might include leaving the casket closed at times when those who do not wish to view are present as well as arranging a period of viewing for others even if the immediate family does not wish to view the remains.
While some would view the visitation and funeral as a painful experience and would thus want to avoid it, it is in reality a first step towards healing.
It has been illustrated by comparison to having an aching tooth (With due recognition of the much more serious nature of death). Going to the dentist can be as painful as the toothache, but once the dental procedure is completed, healing takes place and pain subsides.
Rather than a pain to be avoided, the visitation and funeral should be looked at as a first step towards healing with the comfort and support of family and friends.
Even the very act of arranging for funeral services can be thought of as therapeutic in that the grieving person is engaged in meaningful activities that forces them to communicate, make decisions, and interact with others.
We acknowledge that cremation is an alternative to earth burial or entombment as a form of disposition of the body. It does not and should not be thought of as an alternative to having a funeral service.
We must not allow our own preferences concerning viewing, services, or disposition to become communicated to the family to influence them in their decision making.
While it is a part of our service to a family to advise them in such matters, our advice should consist of factual information free of our personal prejudices.
Finally, we believe that the funeral has a dual role. The funeral serves both the living and the dead.
The funeral is for the living. It provides a means of saying farewell.
The funeral is for the respectful disposition of the dead. No successful civilization has ever existed that simply discarded their dead.
"Show me the manner in which a nation cares for its dead and I will measure with mathematical exactness the tender mercies of its people, their respect for the laws of the land, and their loyalty to high ideals."
Sir William Gladstone
http://www.wyfda.org/basics_5.html
Because I carry my grief with me everywhere --- I guess someone would have thought I had done something with it by now. I have not. It is on my todo list. I follow a blog written by Gina Webb, a sweet and wonderful lady. She is processing her grief in a beautiful and couragous way. I admire her strenghth and envy her courage to put it out there. I also have a dear friend that when I "need" to do something I call her and through my tears ask her to take care of the "business" at hand.
I still think about doing things to process my grief. My family and friends (other than the one mentioned) steer far away from my grief. I have gone for professional help on learning to grief. For some reason that has been a series of incrediable misses and folly. If we believe that Spirit moves things along --- I would not claim a series of unprofessionalism but that Spirit had another plan to help me process my grief.
Spirit will lead me.
In my quest to heal----I read about grief, self helps etc. But I guess for some of us slow learners or healers. The wounds heal slowly. Just another hurdle in life. But when I do get "it". I might learn something to help others. Others as stubborn to work with as me!!
Some of my resources:
It is important to recognize that funerals are for the living - for those who will suffer the trauma of losing a loved one. It is through the funeral process that emotional needs are served for those who grieve. http://familyestate.com/main/funeral.html A Funeral Overview
by Jeffrey Wolowiec, Parkside Chapels, Chicago, Illinois
____________________________________________________________________________________
also found at: http://consumer.iccfa.com/node/2
Questions about Cemetery, Funeral Service,Burial,Cremation,MemorialsHome » » Funerals
What purpose does a funeral serve?The funeral and the ceremony that accompanies it are indeed very important. For those who are left behind, a funeral provides a place for family and friends to gather for support and to reminisce; an opportunity to celebrate the life and accomplishments of a loved one; a chance to say goodbye; and the focal point from which the healing process can begin. The funeral identifies that a person's life has been lived, not that a death has occurred. It is also important to notify the community that this person has died. There are people beyond the immediate family who have the right to grieve a death. For instance, what would have happened in the United States if there had not been a funeral for President John F. Kennedy?
____________________________________________________________________________________
The Purpose of the Funeral
Once we see and understand how we deal with death, it is time to consider how the funeral enters into this process. The funeral serves many purposes but is best expressed in the following statements.
The funeral:
Helps confirm the reality and finality of death.
Provides a climate of mourning and the expression of grief.
Allows the sorrows of one to become the sorrows of all.
Is the only time when love is given and not expected in return.
Is a vehicle for the community to pay its respects.
Encourages the affirmation of religious faith.
Is a declaration that a life has been lived, as well as a sociological statement that a death has occurred.
The funeral allows people to remember and honor their loved one in a special way.
It serves as a central gathering place for family and friends to give emotional support to one another.
It encourages mourners to face the pain of their loss and express their thoughts and feelings.
It helps the survivors to better cope with their grief and enables them to move forward in their lives.
It initiates the grief process while bringing closure to the death.
When we speak of the funeral we should define it in the terms of today. Many picture the funeral as an exclusively religious event with the body present in the casket followed by earth interment.
By funeral we mean the post-death activities that may include any type of meaningful ceremony to commemorate the life of the deceased.
While affirming the comfort and solace many find in the rites of their church, we also acknowledge that religious services may be inappropriate for those who do not have a religious affiliation.
The funeral should meet the needs of the family. The service, whether religious in nature or not, may include personal reading, stories, or anecdotes about the deceased, eulogies by family members, and musical numbers of meaning to the family.
While we affirm the value of the viewing of the remains as a means to confirm the reality of death, we also acknowledge that the family has the right to arrange whatever type of services they feel would be meaningful to them.
At the same time, we would encourage the family to consider other relatives and friends in the planning of post-death activities.
We believe that death is both a private and a public matter. While the death of a family member is a very personal loss, that death also effects distant family, friends, and the community at large.
Families who might not see the value in a service or desire "private" services should be urged to consider the needs of others to express their own grief at the loss of this person.
While the immediate family may or may not wish to view the body, they should be encouraged to make reasonable accommodation for others.
This might include leaving the casket closed at times when those who do not wish to view are present as well as arranging a period of viewing for others even if the immediate family does not wish to view the remains.
While some would view the visitation and funeral as a painful experience and would thus want to avoid it, it is in reality a first step towards healing.
It has been illustrated by comparison to having an aching tooth (With due recognition of the much more serious nature of death). Going to the dentist can be as painful as the toothache, but once the dental procedure is completed, healing takes place and pain subsides.
Rather than a pain to be avoided, the visitation and funeral should be looked at as a first step towards healing with the comfort and support of family and friends.
Even the very act of arranging for funeral services can be thought of as therapeutic in that the grieving person is engaged in meaningful activities that forces them to communicate, make decisions, and interact with others.
We acknowledge that cremation is an alternative to earth burial or entombment as a form of disposition of the body. It does not and should not be thought of as an alternative to having a funeral service.
We must not allow our own preferences concerning viewing, services, or disposition to become communicated to the family to influence them in their decision making.
While it is a part of our service to a family to advise them in such matters, our advice should consist of factual information free of our personal prejudices.
Finally, we believe that the funeral has a dual role. The funeral serves both the living and the dead.
The funeral is for the living. It provides a means of saying farewell.
The funeral is for the respectful disposition of the dead. No successful civilization has ever existed that simply discarded their dead.
"Show me the manner in which a nation cares for its dead and I will measure with mathematical exactness the tender mercies of its people, their respect for the laws of the land, and their loyalty to high ideals."
Sir William Gladstone
http://www.wyfda.org/basics_5.html
Monday, May 23, 2011
Releasing................
When I was in my forties, I belonged to a women's group at church. I looked around me.
There were actually very beautiful women around me. Their eyes shone when they spoke to me. They were gentle and had such a peace about them.
I remember one woman in particular was a well known portrait artist. She had just finished a portrait of a young man severely handicapped with cerebral palsy. The young gentleman shook and jerked all the time. A photographer could never get a photo of the young man that represented the truly loving spirit of the young man. Well, my friend painted the young man's portrait on a large canvas that hung in the family foyer. She was able to capture the young man's continence between the involuntary shaking and jerks. The family was thrilled with the portrait. The young man was also very pleased with the portrait. This was truly a work of love, patience and skill.
But also attending these women meetings was a lady living just a couple doors down from this lady even younger in age but who was grouchy and angry. She had lots of pains and physical complaints. She spoke with a raspy voice while always puffing on a cigarette. It was true her life had been filled with tragedy and sadness. Her husband had been depressed and tried to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head. But all he managed to do was make himself go blind. So he became a more difficult burden for her. Her daughter had arrived home to see her father's head splattered on the wall and never recovered from the shock. So the woman cared for the blind husband and the now dependent daughter for another 30 years.
So I asked this group of women........what is the secret to ageing gracefully. I really wanted to know.
and they told me this secret ----which so far I think is very true. The secret to Ageing Gracefully is to learn to deal with loss. Loss of eyesight, loss of short term memory, loss of loved ones, loss of youth, loss of ability to move up the corporate ladder, loss, loss,,,,,,
You learn it over the years. You lose small things, then with each loss you practice how to release and let go, You no longer can hike the hills or do the sports you once did, your eyes need reading glasses, you say good-bye to a dear friend, your get up and go---just one day gets up and leaves. Everything slows down.
So here I am releasing and letting go------- I still do lots but just a little slower. My son has moved to New York where he moves even faster than he use to move ---which was remarkably fast. But it had been over 10 years since he had taken me to a grocery store. He could not believe how slow I moved. But when you do not have to move as fast as you once did ---- you do slow down.
I am so blessed to be surrounded by some very awesome aunts who at very advance years still work, exercise regularly and are very engaged with their families and friends. They are truly gracious ladies. So I am learning.......
So I am moving slower and releasing the loss. But it is okay. I do not know what tomorrow will bring but I do know WHO will be there with me all the way.
So now you know the secret---- and for 20 years it has truly rang true for me.
The secret to Ageing Gracefully is to learn to deal with loss.
Another Ruth Truth......
There were actually very beautiful women around me. Their eyes shone when they spoke to me. They were gentle and had such a peace about them.
I remember one woman in particular was a well known portrait artist. She had just finished a portrait of a young man severely handicapped with cerebral palsy. The young gentleman shook and jerked all the time. A photographer could never get a photo of the young man that represented the truly loving spirit of the young man. Well, my friend painted the young man's portrait on a large canvas that hung in the family foyer. She was able to capture the young man's continence between the involuntary shaking and jerks. The family was thrilled with the portrait. The young man was also very pleased with the portrait. This was truly a work of love, patience and skill.
But also attending these women meetings was a lady living just a couple doors down from this lady even younger in age but who was grouchy and angry. She had lots of pains and physical complaints. She spoke with a raspy voice while always puffing on a cigarette. It was true her life had been filled with tragedy and sadness. Her husband had been depressed and tried to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head. But all he managed to do was make himself go blind. So he became a more difficult burden for her. Her daughter had arrived home to see her father's head splattered on the wall and never recovered from the shock. So the woman cared for the blind husband and the now dependent daughter for another 30 years.
So I asked this group of women........what is the secret to ageing gracefully. I really wanted to know.
and they told me this secret ----which so far I think is very true. The secret to Ageing Gracefully is to learn to deal with loss. Loss of eyesight, loss of short term memory, loss of loved ones, loss of youth, loss of ability to move up the corporate ladder, loss, loss,,,,,,
You learn it over the years. You lose small things, then with each loss you practice how to release and let go, You no longer can hike the hills or do the sports you once did, your eyes need reading glasses, you say good-bye to a dear friend, your get up and go---just one day gets up and leaves. Everything slows down.
So here I am releasing and letting go------- I still do lots but just a little slower. My son has moved to New York where he moves even faster than he use to move ---which was remarkably fast. But it had been over 10 years since he had taken me to a grocery store. He could not believe how slow I moved. But when you do not have to move as fast as you once did ---- you do slow down.
I am so blessed to be surrounded by some very awesome aunts who at very advance years still work, exercise regularly and are very engaged with their families and friends. They are truly gracious ladies. So I am learning.......
So I am moving slower and releasing the loss. But it is okay. I do not know what tomorrow will bring but I do know WHO will be there with me all the way.
So now you know the secret---- and for 20 years it has truly rang true for me.
The secret to Ageing Gracefully is to learn to deal with loss.
Another Ruth Truth......
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