Thursday, December 1, 2011

The lesson learnt from our own industrial revolution at the turn of the last century.

Oh. I have already solved the world's problems. Same old Ruth! We learn from our own Industrial revolution over 100 years ago!

My impressions are limited to meeting young Chinese people while I worked on outsourcing business opportunities. I have participated in more than one manufacturing facility leaving Silicon Valley to China.
The young people from China I met had several concerns in common:

1. The pressure put on "only children" to succeed. Pre-teen suicide is alarmingly high. If a child is not significantly above average, which by definition is over 50% of the children, the young people are at a high risk for depression and suicide.
The thinking has been said to be something like this ----

My parents are only allowed one child. I will be responsible for my parents in old age. I cannot compete. I am a disappointment. If I kill myself my parents can try for another child and the new child would be able to provide for my parents better than me.

2. The increasing demand to care for extended family members.
3. Heighten social life pressure. Networking is key to success.
4. Health care is not readily available.

In my limited exposure to the young people of China, this is my observation.

A 25 year old young competitor is too old to compete. You must make your money in about 5 years to supply for your family for the rest of your life.
Your family consists of yourself, your "only child" wife, your one child, your parents, your wife's parents, and all grandparents still living.

There is so much:
a) competition from over population,

b) fear of government ever changing policies

c) limited business practices with world trade


It is coming common practice to lie, steal and cheat at a global level. It is a true dog eats dog existence for many. And the world has an abundance of opportunists more than willing to "use" these young people. And ADD to these young people's stress. Not a pretty picture. But I have a solution.

A win win win scenario.

The lesson learnt from our own industrial revolution at the turn of the last century. Several things will be played out. Child labor laws, more government laws and regulations, pollution, population moving from country life to centralized cities.

The one thing that motivated many during the last century was advancements in health care and quality of living.

The age expectation in China is 62-64 years of age. I dare say: that would be our expectation of a life without modern science, including pre-natal care, vaccinations, and I personally (as many have) had major surgery to preserve my life.

So if we think more globally and adopt an idea of perseverance; my answer to the fears of the USA is health care. NO NOT OBAMA CARE_____EVIL EVIL

I believe medical care could and should be available to every American, in fact everyone on earth. I have no problem with all having health care if we could assure all would receive the health care afforded by my husband (at a health premium of 1000 dollars a month. A 1000 dollars a month for him and a 1000 a month for me), or someone of Congress. My husband recently needed three years of extensive health care. Recent health care needed for my husband was never halted for pre approvals, out of network doctors, or questions as to what the health insurance would provide. My husband was referred to all the top doctors, treated like everyone should be treated and is now back to full time employment.

Money pours out of the USA at an alarming rate-----my solution---- which is already true up to a point. USA becomes the health facility of the world! We already train a large percentage of the doctors in the world. Our medical research and know how is far advance of most countries. When a top executive needs health care ---many of them come to the USA. Medical equipment, pharmaceutical advancements are of high quality.

As countries drain our economy we can replenish our funds with providing health care. Pump money (i.e. college loans) into medical universities. Foreign countries are sending their kids to our medical universities at the expense of their government and our tax money (foreign student grants and class priorities). We could educate each student to their ability and interest ----- nurses, aides, patient care, doctors, research, medical equipment assembly , chemistry, hospital janitors, landscapers, (some of our hospitals are filthy!!!)
Hospital carpenters, nutritionists etc.

But the foreign citizen must buy into our medical plan-----with strict pre-existing restrictions and pre approval needed------we could use Obama’s plan as a template!!! LOL

Medical equipment could be assembled in other countries to our standards---no lead paint, inferior metals, etc. Let those countries deal with the pollution, waste treatment etc------again to our educated standards.

We can also employee Americans to be the global manufacturing inspectors.
Ergo you want your key personnel their parents, grandparents --- you can pay for their care here in the USA.
We already do this to a point---- Many foreigners bring their parents here for social security and health care.
A person from the Philippines can come to the USA and only work 5 years in our work force to apply for the same benefits I would receive upon retirement. Based on their salary maybe they will receive more than a person who lives, works here their entire life. .
Trained in our schools, on our tax dollar, to work a profession for 5 years, receive professional salaries, (far above salaries of a teacher), to retire in luxury in their country.
Oh well you kind of get the idea------- make USA the high quality medical facility it could be-------with the idea of employing everyone and charging other countries to use our facilities. We will pay back our national debt fast at the rate hospitals charge.

Another plus-----we could open OUR space program again because we would be manufacturing our pure chemicals in a less gravity environment --- eliminating particles per million issues----- and there are also many more advantages allowed through this program

But alas they will not make me QUEEN of the world-----so I sit here with my perfect plan again-----until the men in the white coats come to get me -----so I can join all the other people who have a perfect plan for world peace and domination.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Life According to Ruth 101 --- Display Your Flag

I received an email encouraging Americans to fly the American flag on Sept 11 2011 -- the tenth anniversary of the attack on the towers.

Each year, I would go downtown San Jose on the sidewalk outside St Joseph's Church and watch the firemen ceremonies. The San Jose Firemen would make an arch with their extended ladders across Market Street. Then firemen from all over Northern California would come in full formal dress to pray for all firemen. What a spectacular scene!!!

This year I am in Chula Vista and wanted to fly an American flag. There is proper etiquette in the care, flying and storing of an American flag. This was common knowledge of most grade level children when I was growing up. I am amazed at how many young adults did not realize that there is such a thing as an US Flag Code.

The US Flag Code has changed over the years and when researching the subject today I found not all resources were in agreement as to the proper protocol. Such as the Veteran's code has not been updated to include Sept 11. Some codes have included Sept 11 as Patriot Day but do not mention to fly at half-staff.

So I investigated.

Patriot Day

Patriot Day has been added. to the Flag Holidays listed in section 174 of the US Flag Code. On December 18, 2001, President Bush signed Public Law No: 107-89, designating September 11th as Patriot Day. State and local governments and the people of the United States are asked to observe Patriot Day with appropriate programs and activities to honor the individuals who lost their lives as a result of the terrorist attacks on that date in 2001.

The day has also been designated as a day that the US flag should be flown at half-staff from sunrise to sundown, not just until noon as is done on Memorial Day. In addition the people of the United States are asked to observe a moment of silence on Patriot Day in remembrance of the victims.

Many people have asked if Government offices, schools, banks, etc. will be closed on that day. This seems to be a local individual decision and not mandated by federal or state law at this time.

Patriot Day should not be confused with Patriot’s Day, a regional holiday celebrated in New England on the third Monday in April which commemorates Paul Revere’s ride and the battle of Lexington & Concord during the Revolutionary War. The Boston Marathon is run on Patriot’s Day every year.

For a copy of the Public Law, visit the National Flag Foundation at

Flag Holidays

It is recommended to display your American Flag every day of the year. Be sure to consult the following tables to make sure that you are flying your flag properly.

Days to fly the American Flag at Half Staff:

By order of the President of The United States
By order of the Governor of your state

May 15th Peace Officers Memorial Day (half staff all day)

Last Monday in May Memorial Day (half-staff until noon)

September 11th
Patriot Day (half staff all day)

December 7th
Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day (half staff all day)

Special Occasions for Flag Display

January 1 New Year's Day
January 20 Inauguration Day
February 12 Lincoln's Birthday
Third Monday In February Washington's Birthday
Varies Easter Sunday
Second Sunday in May Mother's Day
Third Saturday in May Armed Forces Day
Last Monday in May Memorial Day (half-staff until noon)
June 14 Flag Day
July 4 Independence Day
First Monday in September Labor Day
September 17 Constitution Day
Second Monday in October Columbus Day
October 27 Navy Day
November 11 Veteran's Day
Fourth Thursday in November Thanksgiving
December 25 Christmas Day

Friday, September 2, 2011

Special Spinach Salad

I have a real passion for great Spinach Salads. A great Spinach salad is hard to beat and even harder to keep low calorie. I do not like most bottled dressings but I have found some great spinach salad dressings.

Cold Spinach Salad:

Recipe for dressing:
1/3 cup of olive oil
3 Tbs of sugar -- I use a substitute
2 Tbs White Wine Vinegar -- I use Rice Vinegar
2 Tbs Sour Cream-- I use Greek Yogurt
1/2 tsp ground mustard
Blend all ingredients on a covered jar and place in refrigerator

Add dressing when ready to serve over
1 pkg (6 oz) of Fresh Baby Spinach
1/2 cup of walnuts (toasted optional)
1/2 cup of dried cranberries or craisins

I do not have walnuts or cranberries tonight so I will probably use blueberries, fresh pear pieces and chopped fried chicken pieces.

Hot Spinach Salad

Recipe for dressing:
1/3 cup of olive oil
3 Tbs of sugar -- I use a substitute
2 Tbs White Wine Vinegar -- I use Rice Vinegar
2 Tbs Worcheshire Sauce
1/2 tsp ground mustard
1/2 tsp of grated garlic
1/4 corn starch to thicken if desired (corn starch will need to come to a boil if added at the end. Increase heat long enough to mildly boil for three minutes and then return heat to low)
Blend all ingredients over low heat and set aside dressing until ready to serve over
1 pkg (6 oz) of Fresh Baby Spinach
2 hard boiled eggs chopped --- egg whites only if needed
1/2 cup sliced white mushrooms
1/2 cup of thinly sliced red onion

Now for a Ruth Pet Peeve:

I love reading the menus in fancy restaurants explain wonderful spinach salads. Many restaurants will offer great sounding spinach salads with strawberries, orange vinaigrette's, all kinds of great ingredients along with wonderfully described dressings. If the salad is priced over 7 dollars --- my biggest pet peeve is spinach leaves with 2-3 inch stems on the spinach leaves, One strawberry sliced into 3 parts and a bottled or very old tasting dressing.
Of course I would not do it but the inner Ruth wants to send the spinach salad back and ask that the chef trim the spinach.

Now for the Irony of this blog: A true Ruthism (You can never win!)

In an effort to provide a healthy diet --- Spinach Salads seemed like a sure thing. Iron, green, low carbs,........ but I have developed a sensitivity to oxalate. This sensitivity led to kidney stones (Ouch! Ouch!)
So I was given a CAN NOT EAT list by my doctor.

High-oxalate foods-higher to lower

spinach --- what??? my health food?
swiss chard
wheat germ
soybean crackers
chocolate ---- HUH?
black Indian tea --- I love my stress reducing black tea
sweet potatoes --- my go-to food thickener ; and I love a great sweet potato pie.

Foods that have medium amounts of oxalate may be eaten in limited amounts.

Medium-oxalate foods-higher to lower
grapes -- a favorite
green pepper --- love it in my food
red raspberries
fruit cake
strawberries --- a favorite
marmalade - love it

So if I am to have a low glutton, sugar-free, low oxalate diet the list of okay foods is shrinking.

So we need to eat to live and not live to eat.

Monday, July 18, 2011

The Shoe Skirt ---- Marriage Arguement number 145874

I would like to introduce a kindred spirit.........


I am an avid fan of "everyday people think up great ideas" And as an independent entrepreneur I am often looking for marketing ideas and encouragement. Ergo Holly Tucker's stories was one of those "Why didn't anyone think of that before stories?" More about Holly at the end of the blog.

This is a blog about Marriage egoccentrialism: Yes I do make up words and phrases as I please. Two people may marry with seemingly common backgrounds and experiences. But it is only after being married awhile do those "differences" start popping up. In our marriage it is the bed. ---- ok get your head out of the gutter---- it is in making the bed.

My bed is my sanctuary

People who visited me know that! Believe me -- lots of people who knew me and my seemingly simple taste have been known to take a double take when they would see my fit for a QUEEN bed. Children always need to crawl in it. Parents knew their children would be fine. Because if I had a visitor overnight --- I let them sleep in my bed and there they rested very nicely.

On the other hand Tony's family is from Hawaii---- a bottom sheet, a light top sheet, done. Think hospital bed.....

So needless to say making the bed and adding all it's comfort components has been a life long lesson for Tony. And this week end -- I added this SHOE SKIRT to our bed making routine.

okay it is like this ---- under bed storage, box springs, shoe skirt, bed skirt, mattress, foam pad, feather comforter, special comforter protective sheet (and no Tony --- you can not double that as a bottom sheet here!!!) and yes all the winkles need to be removed from this protective sheet, Tony!!! pull on the corners and sides and tuck to remove winkles and keep it even. Flannel sheet---- bottom fitted sheet. Simple, practical, and after all these years should be able to be done.

Top sheet with pretty side down, large hem at the top, high enough to cover your shoulders (Stop Tony, do not fold the large hem down yet.) light blanket -- approximately 16 inches from top of the bed. Now you fold down the top sheet---- sleep pillows, comforter, decorative pillows, and when I can get away with it a bed doll. EASY!

So we went through this last night as we have once or twice a week for our entire married life. Minus the shoe skirt---- and then I reminded Tony he likes his top sheet tucked in at the bottom-- so he does that to his side of the bed.

And even after all these years --- I return to the bedroom to find--- Tony has tucked the bed skirt in between the mattress and box springs -- when he tucked in his top sheet-----

Okay Okay---- I took a deep breath and fixed the bed skirt.

I know TMI but if that is the worse I suffer with Tony---- I guess I will keep him.


Holly Tucker
"Shoe Skirt" | Hendersonville, NC

Have shoes taken over your closet? Who'd imagine such a common dilemma would result in a product, the "Shoe Skirt," featured in the first Everyday Edisons infomercial? (See it at When Holly Tucker misplaced yet another shoe, she decided her closet was out of control and took charge by developing an ingenious way to store shoes—the world's first shoe organizer that provides extra storage hidden under a bed skirt, with up to 30 pockets for shoes or other items. As a matter of fact, Holly still uses the prototype she originally made for her bed, which holds 35 pairs of shoes! The footwear aficionado presented her idea at the Everyday Edisons Dallas casting call on March 15, 2008 — and a shoe star was born.

An Ohio native, Holly grew up with her siblings and her divorced working mother who also happened to be a successful business owner. As an undergraduate, she majored in French, which would pay off in a later career, and gathered an MBA from Golden Gate University. Disenchanted by supervising teamsters on a freight dock in one of her earlier jobs, Holly's free-spirited nature took over and she soon enrolled in travel school. She learned the ropes working at travel agencies for a few years before the budding entrepreneur took a chance starting her own travel business. Consequently, she's happy to have been able to travel extensively since then — and even met her spouse while traveling in Germany.

Holly credits her husband of 20 years, a retired Air Force fighter pilot, as her chief inspiration, but also acknowledges a science teacher in junior high school as a great role model who encouraged and inspired her, and remains a treasured friend to this day. Holly's fondness for felines—she has four cats, "her babies"—is one of her passions, as are reality television shows. Right now, Holly's biggest aspiration is to cut back on work and spend more time inventing and enjoying life.

"My husband came up with the motto ‘A shoe skirt in every house!'"

Monday, May 30, 2011

Sometimes KNOWING is not enough--

Sometimes KNOWING is not enough-- when do you tell people the emperor has no clothes on and when do you just not speak?

Because sometimes I tell people the emperor has no clothes on and instead of being open to understanding what I am saying --- I am met with violent reactions including " she is just difficult to work with" she "is confused" and we need just ignore her.

I consider myself a student of life. I am constantly trying to understand this world around me. But I also sometimes speak out about "ignorance" being presented as fact. This has served me well in work. Sometimes people not educated in the subject would "guess" at an answer to a problem. Those not educated in the discipline would decide based on any numbers of opinions (not research)if they would accept the premise or not.

RESEARCH yes, before we go further, you can find research information to justify any position on any subject. But I am talking about exhaustive research with credible sources.

This reminds me if a discussion I had with my then 15 year old grandson. He was educating me on the wisdom of Marilyn Manson. My first reaction was "No more!!" but this particular day I actually had some patience. So I really listened to this rational of Marilyn Manson. My grandson began with how it was "the free thinkers" against the police, schools, and anyone in authority.

His rational was based on a death occurring in an IHOP parking lot. A so-called clean cut looking kid was driving wreck less and killed a "Gothic looking teen". The driver never spent time in jail for this death was the report.

So I challenged my grandson to find the date and time and research the case. I explained to him that court records would be available. The reasoning and results of the judges decision would be a public record. I imagined a wonderful learning experience to pursue. I could teach my grandson a new avenue of Internet use, we could write to and obtain court papers. A real first step to learning to investigative research. We could find other so called "quotes" and read further learning to understand deductive reasoning.

Although I had visions of real teaching and wonderful constructive interchange of ideas, I was met with Grandma has a closed mind. Grandma just hates Marilyn Mason and Grandma is part of that "them" against all "free thinkers". (sigh)

So because I am such a "Pollyanna" about education--- I started to research the Marilyn Manson quotes and examples myself. My grandson felt this was disrespectful and "evil" on my part to try to "belittle" all free thinkers of the world!! (sigh)

I use "Pollyanna" in the true understanding of the word. I am such a rose-colored glass, naive, very foolish Pollyanna that I set myself up for ridicule and judgement all the time.

So I document my thoughts and invite those who choose to "debate" my thinking. So we can both learn and gain in knowledge. Or just speak my truth and leave it to those to interrupt at their level of interest. Like my then 15 year old grandson, I find not everyone has that investigative mind and desire to exchange ideas.

I have known my own grown children have truly opened my eyes to different ways of looking at things. They have very valid information. But usually those ideas are presented in a HIT and RUN scenario. Mom, I am so mad at you that you are ignoring this "truth" and so I am leaving. SLAM the door shuts. Sometimes the concept is so new to me, it truly takes me a bit of time to process. I have to remember my children were raised in a different 1980's world than my own 1950's childhood.
So a Ruth Truth: I adopted a while back. Speak up -- go on record --- document --- and let go.
So like the naive child of the emperor's new clothes ---- It is okay to speak your truth; encourage and invite discussion regarding your truth ---- honor those willing to explore ideas with you and be willing to be proven wrong and change your mind.

Who knows maybe Marilyn Mason was revealing a real "cover up" story.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

The Purpose of a Funeral-----My Grief

My son came to my home the other day and viewed a wall of pictures. He asked "is this your wall of memories?" I said no. Those pictures came with the frames. I thought a display of pictures and frames were needed to accent the table below.

Because I carry my grief with me everywhere --- I guess someone would have thought I had done something with it by now. I have not. It is on my todo list. I follow a blog written by Gina Webb, a sweet and wonderful lady. She is processing her grief in a beautiful and couragous way. I admire her strenghth and envy her courage to put it out there. I also have a dear friend that when I "need" to do something I call her and through my tears ask her to take care of the "business" at hand.

I still think about doing things to process my grief. My family and friends (other than the one mentioned) steer far away from my grief. I have gone for professional help on learning to grief. For some reason that has been a series of incrediable misses and folly. If we believe that Spirit moves things along --- I would not claim a series of unprofessionalism but that Spirit had another plan to help me process my grief.

Spirit will lead me.

In my quest to heal----I read about grief, self helps etc. But I guess for some of us slow learners or healers. The wounds heal slowly. Just another hurdle in life. But when I do get "it". I might learn something to help others. Others as stubborn to work with as me!!

Some of my resources:

It is important to recognize that funerals are for the living - for those who will suffer the trauma of losing a loved one. It is through the funeral process that emotional needs are served for those who grieve. A Funeral Overview
by Jeffrey Wolowiec, Parkside Chapels, Chicago, Illinois

also found at:

Questions about Cemetery, Funeral Service,Burial,Cremation,MemorialsHome » » Funerals

What purpose does a funeral serve?The funeral and the ceremony that accompanies it are indeed very important. For those who are left behind, a funeral provides a place for family and friends to gather for support and to reminisce; an opportunity to celebrate the life and accomplishments of a loved one; a chance to say goodbye; and the focal point from which the healing process can begin. The funeral identifies that a person's life has been lived, not that a death has occurred. It is also important to notify the community that this person has died. There are people beyond the immediate family who have the right to grieve a death. For instance, what would have happened in the United States if there had not been a funeral for President John F. Kennedy?
The Purpose of the Funeral
Once we see and understand how we deal with death, it is time to consider how the funeral enters into this process. The funeral serves many purposes but is best expressed in the following statements.

The funeral:

Helps confirm the reality and finality of death.

Provides a climate of mourning and the expression of grief.

Allows the sorrows of one to become the sorrows of all.

Is the only time when love is given and not expected in return.

Is a vehicle for the community to pay its respects.

Encourages the affirmation of religious faith.

Is a declaration that a life has been lived, as well as a sociological statement that a death has occurred.
The funeral allows people to remember and honor their loved one in a special way.

It serves as a central gathering place for family and friends to give emotional support to one another.

It encourages mourners to face the pain of their loss and express their thoughts and feelings.

It helps the survivors to better cope with their grief and enables them to move forward in their lives.

It initiates the grief process while bringing closure to the death.

When we speak of the funeral we should define it in the terms of today. Many picture the funeral as an exclusively religious event with the body present in the casket followed by earth interment.

By funeral we mean the post-death activities that may include any type of meaningful ceremony to commemorate the life of the deceased.

While affirming the comfort and solace many find in the rites of their church, we also acknowledge that religious services may be inappropriate for those who do not have a religious affiliation.

The funeral should meet the needs of the family. The service, whether religious in nature or not, may include personal reading, stories, or anecdotes about the deceased, eulogies by family members, and musical numbers of meaning to the family.

While we affirm the value of the viewing of the remains as a means to confirm the reality of death, we also acknowledge that the family has the right to arrange whatever type of services they feel would be meaningful to them.

At the same time, we would encourage the family to consider other relatives and friends in the planning of post-death activities.

We believe that death is both a private and a public matter. While the death of a family member is a very personal loss, that death also effects distant family, friends, and the community at large.

Families who might not see the value in a service or desire "private" services should be urged to consider the needs of others to express their own grief at the loss of this person.

While the immediate family may or may not wish to view the body, they should be encouraged to make reasonable accommodation for others.
This might include leaving the casket closed at times when those who do not wish to view are present as well as arranging a period of viewing for others even if the immediate family does not wish to view the remains.

While some would view the visitation and funeral as a painful experience and would thus want to avoid it, it is in reality a first step towards healing.

It has been illustrated by comparison to having an aching tooth (With due recognition of the much more serious nature of death). Going to the dentist can be as painful as the toothache, but once the dental procedure is completed, healing takes place and pain subsides.
Rather than a pain to be avoided, the visitation and funeral should be looked at as a first step towards healing with the comfort and support of family and friends.

Even the very act of arranging for funeral services can be thought of as therapeutic in that the grieving person is engaged in meaningful activities that forces them to communicate, make decisions, and interact with others.

We acknowledge that cremation is an alternative to earth burial or entombment as a form of disposition of the body. It does not and should not be thought of as an alternative to having a funeral service.

We must not allow our own preferences concerning viewing, services, or disposition to become communicated to the family to influence them in their decision making.

While it is a part of our service to a family to advise them in such matters, our advice should consist of factual information free of our personal prejudices.

Finally, we believe that the funeral has a dual role. The funeral serves both the living and the dead.

The funeral is for the living. It provides a means of saying farewell.
The funeral is for the respectful disposition of the dead. No successful civilization has ever existed that simply discarded their dead.

"Show me the manner in which a nation cares for its dead and I will measure with mathematical exactness the tender mercies of its people, their respect for the laws of the land, and their loyalty to high ideals."
Sir William Gladstone

Monday, May 23, 2011


When I was in my forties, I belonged to a women's group at church. I looked around me.

There were actually very beautiful women around me. Their eyes shone when they spoke to me. They were gentle and had such a peace about them.

I remember one woman in particular was a well known portrait artist. She had just finished a portrait of a young man severely handicapped with cerebral palsy. The young gentleman shook and jerked all the time. A photographer could never get a photo of the young man that represented the truly loving spirit of the young man. Well, my friend painted the young man's portrait on a large canvas that hung in the family foyer. She was able to capture the young man's continence between the involuntary shaking and jerks. The family was thrilled with the portrait. The young man was also very pleased with the portrait. This was truly a work of love, patience and skill.

But also attending these women meetings was a lady living just a couple doors down from this lady even younger in age but who was grouchy and angry. She had lots of pains and physical complaints. She spoke with a raspy voice while always puffing on a cigarette. It was true her life had been filled with tragedy and sadness. Her husband had been depressed and tried to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head. But all he managed to do was make himself go blind. So he became a more difficult burden for her. Her daughter had arrived home to see her father's head splattered on the wall and never recovered from the shock. So the woman cared for the blind husband and the now dependent daughter for another 30 years.

So I asked this group of women........what is the secret to ageing gracefully. I really wanted to know.

and they told me this secret ----which so far I think is very true. The secret to Ageing Gracefully is to learn to deal with loss. Loss of eyesight, loss of short term memory, loss of loved ones, loss of youth, loss of ability to move up the corporate ladder, loss, loss,,,,,,

You learn it over the years. You lose small things, then with each loss you practice how to release and let go, You no longer can hike the hills or do the sports you once did, your eyes need reading glasses, you say good-bye to a dear friend, your get up and go---just one day gets up and leaves. Everything slows down.

So here I am releasing and letting go------- I still do lots but just a little slower. My son has moved to New York where he moves even faster than he use to move ---which was remarkably fast. But it had been over 10 years since he had taken me to a grocery store. He could not believe how slow I moved. But when you do not have to move as fast as you once did ---- you do slow down.

I am so blessed to be surrounded by some very awesome aunts who at very advance years still work, exercise regularly and are very engaged with their families and friends. They are truly gracious ladies. So I am learning.......

So I am moving slower and releasing the loss. But it is okay. I do not know what tomorrow will bring but I do know WHO will be there with me all the way.

So now you know the secret---- and for 20 years it has truly rang true for me.

The secret to Ageing Gracefully is to learn to deal with loss.

Another Ruth Truth......

Letting Go and Letting God

If you have read this poem before ---It is still worth repeating. I have been known to do it myself. Just get myself so involved in a matter and think I can solve the issue. And the more I try the worse the situation would become.

I see my friends around me going to "fix" their families or friends. They work themselves into a freezy to make it "right". And all we need to do is give it to God......


As children bring their broken toys
with tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God,
because He was my friend.
But then, instead of leaving Him,
in peace, to work alone;
I hung around and tried to help,
with ways that were my own.
At last, I snatched them back and cried,
"How can you be so slow?"
"My child," He said,
"What could I do?
You never did let go."

- Author: Lauretta P. Burns - 1957

another good analogy regarding letting go and Letting God is the poem about the ship at sea.......

Again I would imagine myself at the helm of a boat going along and then a terrible storm would come up. I would get so afraid until I finally let go of the wheel and Let God.

My Father's at the Helm

The curling waves, with awful roar, a little bark assailed,
And pallid Fear's distracting power o'er all on board prevailed--
Save one, the captain's darling child, who fearless viewed the storm,
And, cheerful, with composure smiled at danger's threatening form.

"And can you smile," a seaman cried, "while terrors overwhelm?"
"Why should I fear?" the boy replied; "my father's at the helm!"
So, when our worldly hopes are crushed, our earthly comforts gone,
We still have one sure anchor left -- God helps, and He alone.

He to our prayers will lend his ear, he gives our pangs relief;
He turns to smiles each trembling fear, to joy each torturing grief.
Then turn to him, mid terrors wild, when wants and woes o'erwhelm,
Remembering, like the fearless child, our Father's at the helm!

~Author Unknown~

and the message continues to even today with the now popular song sang by Carrie Underwood.....

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on

and surprising enough each and every time we let go of the wheel. The path smoothes out and

It astounds my finite mind to realize that this sovereign God of the universe is also my loving Father who watches and cares for me moment by moment. He is interested in every detail of my life, and not a word or action slips by Him unnoticed. Even my unspoken thoughts and motives lie bare to my holy Father. Yet He continues to love and lead me, cleanse and forgive me!

Nothing I do surprises God. He who made me knows me inside and out, recognizes all my weaknesses, and sees all my needs. He loves, nurtures, guards and trains me as His precious child. Most earthly fathers do their best to make their children mature and happy, yet my heavenly Father does infinitely more. "See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us - that we should be called children of God, and such we are!"

Thank you God for loving me, first.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Doing It Right................

Doing It Right................ How did I learn how to do "it" right? Like all things---doing it right.......... is taught. Rather it is a sport, meal etiquette, running a machine. We learn by observation, trail and error, and research.

Doing It Right ---- looks so simple. BUT if you do not understand the purpose of the excercise --- you will never DO IT RIGHT.

Every culture, family, have unique and practiced traditions. Why then in weddings, funerals, burials are those practices so important?

Continuity, Respect, and Teaching. With the breaking up of families, America is losing the meaning of "family continuity". Weddings, Funerals, Birthday Parties bring that continuity back.

We never had "pinatas" at our birthday parties. But birthday parties with pinatas are a staple now at our birthday parties--- it honors, gives continuity to the Hispanics in our extended families.

Family gatherings can expand and adopt new ways. But imagine if our family could not have embraced the tradition of the pinatas. But how did we learn to add pinatas --- by listening-- not insisting on our way. And a openness to learn.

But so is true to our parents--- I watched, I asked, I learnt family tradition from my aunts and grandmothers. I remember at my aunt Bessie's funeral-- we were at her daughter's home and I was assisting with the preparations, Several relatives were impressed with my knowledge of "what to do". They asked me how I learnt that --- I answered my mother taught me----my mom said "No I didn't" and I quipped "I know but I wanted to give you credit anyway."

So how do you DO IT RIGHT? as mentioned by understanding the purpose. Weddings are not to get drunk and pick up bridesmaids. Birthday Parties are not competition of material things. And funerals are not Bar B Qs.

Weddings are to witness a bond by two people and to "agree" to what God has joined to let no man put asounder. Not to bad mouth one or both of the couple.

Birthdays are to wish well for the milestone of the "guest of honor".

Funerals are to offer solace, support, respect to the entire immediate family. Example you go to the funeral to support your best friend but you are snotty to her alcohlic sister, You are WRONG! That sister had a lot more right to be there than you did and you should just stay home if you can not be civil!!! Not only be civil but to truly love, honor, and respect that person's grief and loss.

Weddings, Birthdays, Funerals are not a time for judgement, criticizm, or hatred.

So go to Weddings to honor the couple and vow to protect this union of God, go to Birthdays that allows you to honor the milestone of the guest of honor. Attend funerals to show respect, support and love all of the "grieving" ones. Or go as a guest of someone (but as a guest---you get to have NO OPINION about others) ---- but if you have to "judge: the couple, birthday person, or griefing family --- then stay away.

to honor others

Bragfest, obligation, or doing someone else a favor.

Do it with all your heart--- or do not do it at all.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Walking Someone to the Pearly Gates.......

Wow! What an honor when God, family and friends, and the loved one involved allows you to walk someone to the Pearly gates. It can be an honor or a horror. To be able to say I love you, I ask forgiveness for anything I did that offended you, I forgive you for anything you did or did not do that offended me, have a peaceful and well deserved sleep in God's hands and until we meet again, I will miss you.

I have had the honor of walking people up to the Pearly Gates. It can and should be a beautiful, healing, loving, spiritual experience.
Going with the Peace and Love of Knowing you have a Wonderful Merciful Grace giving God has been key to many people's experiences of accepting one's life and being able to go in Peace ---- RIP. No matter the faith that peaceful understanding that one did serve a purpose in life and is loved is so important. Tony's sisters had not received communion for several years in their lives. They thought they were "unworthy" "unforgiven" not deserving of God's Grace and Mercy. Having been raised in a very devout Catholic home we knew this bothered them.

Each sister, in her turn, allowed the family to bring in a Priest to deliver communion on a regular basis. The priest would reassure Tony's sisters that they were indeed loved, cherished and God's child. In each woman; I saw a change in their contenence. My Mother had a simiular experience of coming to grips with her life. Mother also found Peace.

Finding the PEACE. My Aunt Doris is spending time with my father in prayer. My Aunt Doris loves and understands the religion as taught by their mother. Dad can feel the love and acceptance of a truly loving God as Aunt Doris prays with him. My Dad needs and deserves more time with Aunt Doris.

Yes, all religions are good, but in death, the religion of your childhood is what you need and deserve. I dare say, although there could be some comfort, someone other than a priest could not have brought Tony's sisters the Peace. As no one that does not understand the Conventional Hell and Stones Religion could bring the Peace and Understanding that Dad finds so comforting.

The "I Love You".
Ut Oh --- A Ruth Truth ---- We are only 33333% good and 666% bad. and that other .0000000001 is a powerful Holy Spirit and only as powerful as you make it. When you embrace Bible Study the way I do, you hear and read many messages received their the Bible. And somewhere and somehow I interrupted the evil 666 number as 66.666%. So for now that is my hypothesis until or unless I learn more. It works like this. You mind, soul, body is always 666.66% involved with desires of the "flesh". Whereas only 33.33% desires the spiritual path. So:

in a group of 999 people, only 333 are engaged, the other 666 people are not engaged.

Your "luck" is 66% negative and 33% good.

Your family and friends are 66.6% against you and only 33.3% "gets you".

Out of 365 days in a year ---- you can call your marriage successful if 123 of those days you husband and you remembered to show each other true appreciative love! That is 2-3 times a week! But that is the norm--- to make a better marriage we would need to work/honor to make it more than 123 days.

Your desires, if left alone, on this earth is 66% satisfing the flesh and 33% the Spirit.

Therefore we are smart to develope the 33% of our lives. Hang around the 33% of people that "gets you". Develope and feed the 33% of your works that honors and feeds your Sprit.

There is an Indian tale about the fact that there are two wolves that live inside a person. The wolves fight all the time. This causes you mind, body and soul to be at unrest all the time. Headaches, upset stomach, aches and pains. The Indian tale continues to explain that one wolfe loves you and wants you to succeed and be kind and prosperous. Whereas the other wolf can never have enough, is constantly wanting more, wastes what he does have, always grabbing and destroying things, people and places. This battle continues always -- within your mind, soul and body. To encourage a wolfe to do better in battle--- it is important to feed the wolf you want to win and starve the other wolf.

Feed the people and things that keep you on the narrow path. Ignore, avoid the people and things that constantly takes you off your path. If you have ever been in battle for the soul of a teenager; sometimes you can really experience the 66% angry, ravishing wolf, while trying to feed the 33% wolf to make it stronger.

Which brings me back to walking one to Pearly Gates.
Honor cherish the 33% of good times, nice memories

The 3.3 years out of a 10 year relationship that enriched and brought happiness to your life.
....... because the 66% will and does take people off their path to peace, love, understanding and forgiveness. You loved and engaged with me 33% of your time, energy and being, 33% of the time you took care of yourself and 33% of your time was spent with family/friends/earthly things. I am going to resent you for not giving me more than 33% of you. But if you did not nuture yourself, family, friends, interest and spiritual life ---- I am not going to have my own time to nuture myself and bring a healthy relationship to us.

FORGIVNESSHolding a secret since childhood does you nor anyone else any good if you throw it in a person's face on their death bed. In psychology that is called "Hit and Run".

Wow wow Hit and Runs are seemingly very satisifing to the accuser. They get to be the "only witness of the event", they get to place blame whereever they want to, they get to set up the jury of right and wrong, they get to be the judge and set punishment, and they get to be the jail warden!!!

When dealing with big ugly secrets the mature attitude is to bring light to the issue so it can be washed and cleaned away.

The Healing

Wow Forgivness Big word, big concept. There are many people who have wrote books, studied this subject because FORGIVNESS is a very personal and difficult subject but for me the Ruth's Truths regarding FORGIVNESS starts something like this:

Before you can forgive anyone --- you must learn to forgive yourself first!

You have to accept that part of yourself that is blind, stubborn and ignorant to your own "FLESH" AND NOT SPIRIT.

You must acknowdledge the other person as blind, stubborn and ignorant to their own "FLESH".

You have to be willing to let go of the wound. People that cut themselves want the attention and distraction the wound will cause. They are hurt and want people to know they are hurt. Their preception is; I am hurt and because I have no open wounds, you do not realize I am wounded. So I will cut myself, I will irritate the wound to keep it open and when it begins to heal I will add salt to the wound to irritate it more. LOOK AT ME I AM HURT I am blind, stubborn and ignorant as to how to heal myself.

You have to desire a healing for yourself for this pain, injury, damage. But if the
pain, injury, damage is serving a purpose in your life --- you may not want to release the wound/the forgivness/the pain.

Ways unforgivness of others can serve you (and the flesh)include but are not limited to:
I was abused so I can not function,
I accept that no one cares about my injury so therefore I can be a failure,
I have nothing to give because I am disabled by my injury,
my life is not my fault---it is theirs,
I need to remind that person and everyone else because I do not feel that person has been punished enough for their transgression against me.

Ways unforgivness of yourself can serve your flesh:
I am unworthy
I have no self control
I am powerless to change
No one cares anyway.

Ways FORGIVENESS could enrich your life;
I love myself enough to pick myself up and try again
I can express myself with honesty and compassion
I can connect with myself and others to learn and become a better person
I can mature and grow up
I can take charge of my life and not be a victim.
I can help others heal from pain, injury, damage
I can ask for forgiveness
I can forgive others
I am a part of this world that is healing the pain, injury, damage

and until we meet again, I will miss you

You have been a BIG piece of my life rather for several years or just a short time.

You "got me".

I will be thinking and remembering the "good times" with love and affection.

Thank you.

I heard the wisdom you gave me at times and I will remember.

I will talk about you and sometimes I will talk to you.

Sometimes I will forget I will not be able to pick up a phone and talk to you.

I will want you to be there with me when I must face more challenges in life.

I will keep my eyes on the stars.

I will be good because I want to see you in heaven-----save me some "dutch quarters".

I wish we could talk more ----- listen---- because I will be talking to you.

Thank you.

I love you
I forgive you
I ask for forgiveness
I will miss you

I wish you PEACE and REST

My niece facebooked the other day "I am from a dysfunctional family but I would not like to be in any other family"

I disagree. I wish we could honor, love, cherish, forgive and respect each other. I honor, love, cherish, forgive and respect all of you.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

March 31, 2011 Dad is in the hospital---- written last year ---- I am reliving every minute of last year all over again,

I rushed to San Jose Ca yesterday because my sister informed me, my dad was having problems breathing. Dad had been in the hospital since Sunday and on Wednesday he was feeling worse. My dad's wife Yoly is in Europe so it was up to my sister and I to assure her we were taking care of him.
Luckily the medicines seem to be taking effect and dad was able to breath in a sitting position for short periods of time. His voice was also stronger and he was able to converse quite well.
Which brings me to the reason I needed to blog today. My dad comes from a different era when men settled their differences in a more direct and finalizing way.
Dad was explaining to us about this cantankerous roommate he had the first few days he was in the hospital, this patient was constantly complaining, not cooperating, etc. Dad said finally his wife told him if he did not stop it, she would go home and not answer the phone. The man kept calling his wife and she refused to answer. Finally they disabled his phone and told him the technician would need to fix his phone.
The man had a broken hip, was quite disoriented, and could not remember where he was or what day it was. and complained none stop.
My dad told the nurses the third time the man fell out of his bed and cussed the nurses out to call security and let security handle him.
Well as dad tells us this tell of his roommate we can not figure out the end of the story.
But then dad told us the end of the problem; soon when dad was left alone in the room with the man and the man started yelling, dad spoke up. and in my dad's stern voice he said "Man, I am sick and trying to get some rest over here. I have been listening to you for two days. Now lay there and keep your mouth shut. If you do not, I will get out of this bed and beat the shit out of you. I know some martial arts that will allow me to hurt you with very little effort on my part."
The man was quiet. but the next time a nurse came in. the man complained that dad threatened him. The nurse came over to dad and said,"Mr Hayley, did you threaten this man?" Dad answered "no" Dad explained to us it was not a lie because it was not a threat ---it was a promise. Dad asked the nurse --- "Did you hear me threaten him" the answer from her was "no" ---- Dad shrugged his shoulders and said "I guess I did not threaten him then. Besides it has been recorded this man has not been in his right mind for several days now" The nurse smiled and walked away. No more noise from that man until they removed him from my dad's room.

and there you have it----- another example of Wild Bill Hayley's justice and coping skills. So I am happy to report the antibiotics are kicking in and dad although very weak is getting better.

He is on predizone and steriods that has brought on a very high blood sugar situation. He still needs to be bedrest but it is workable. Dad hates the thought of being bedridden but I have brought my recorder and will be gathering family history stories. Yes, I am ruthless about genealogy.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Ruth's Calendar--- Season of Manifestation

Ruth's Calendar--- The third Season is the season of Manifestation

OK my year has only three seasons----- but really it works best for me this way----four seasons may be just too much for this California girl. I have never lived any where I needed to actually think of the seasons too much. My seasons kind of are defined by "taking the patio furniture out to the yard" and "putting the patio furniture under cover from the rain".

My first season was the packing all the things away, releasing past fears, mistakes, "sins". Cleaning up and starting a new year. This began usually somewhere around the Labor Day week end. Put the patio furniture away. Buckle down for the winter, prepare for the start of the school year, re-start of many club activities, prepare for the holidays, Plant the bulbs in the garden.
Season One the New Year Season ends with the celebration of the birth of Jesus.

Moving into the Second Season: the promise of HOPE. The renewing of faith ( things hoped for....), things worked towards, I have been known to start tap dancing lessons in this season, to spend long hours blogging (like I am doing right now), hankering down and ordering plane tickets, registering for conferences, setting up goals, planning my yearly budget, planning my yearly vacation time. Planning my year around the seeds having been planted, making choices what needs to "grow", cutting off dead branches, preparing for new growth, preparing the soil with nutrients and toil. Gathering my tools, renewing web site fees, buying hardware, software for computer related projects, entering into year long contracts. This season of stepping out in faith for things HOPED FOR ends on Easter Morning.

OK --- my tradition for the new season---
Having prepared myself for the year.
I have thought about what I want to do in the new year,
I have planned for what I want to do in the new year,
I have hoped for what I want to do in the new year.
Now I release it to God. (and yes my husband participates with me).

RELEASING: My husband and I place the things HOPED FOR through out the year in our GOD box. We place Prayer request, concerns, worries, etc written on a piece of paper and placed in a pretty box. Our GOD box is God's IN_BOX -- a prayer request box. We keep the box placed somewhere prominent in our home. Usually near a passage way we travel by several times a day. This reminds us to send up a prayer for our requests each time we pass it.

We review our pieces of paper with our prayer requests from the GOD box sometime between Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday. The week of Easter miracles. I can and should write blogs on miracles.

At reviewing we are often amazed to review all the prayers that had been answered. We cherish and give thanks for every prayer that has been answered.

When our grandson Nicholas was born premature; his grandfather put many request in the GOD box for him and his parents.

But if in our review of the pieces of paper, we find there is unanswered prayer or on-going prayer issues. We set them aside and pray hard that MIRACLE WEEK.

Come Easter morning, we review pieces of prayer still needing prayer, we count them up. We then purchase a helium filled balloon for each item we are releasing to GOD. We tie a string to each piece of paper and go somewhere to release the balloons.
This is usually a special sharing time for Tony and I. The flight of the balloons varies each year with weather conditions, locations, and our energy level. We prayed throughout the year for these items --- it is now time to release them and give them to GOD.

This releases us to "fly" lightly. To fly without weight or drag. To float and let GOD.

To be in the world but not apart of it: To be in our physical LIFE'S but also fly in our Spiritual LIFE'S.

My cup is overflowing theory---- with matter that can be seen and matter that can not be seen but can be proven that it does exist.

The step into the new realization. I think of it like I planned for the year, I buckled down and did what I could do, and now I release it to GOD to complete the job. That feeling of lift like in an airplane/ kite/ . I prepare the airplane, then I stretch out my arms and run as fast as I can and then the draft lifts my wings and I fly. I walk into Holy Spirit space. I realize I am no longer in the driver's seat. and the garden grows, and the children show what they learnt that year, and your classes conclude with new knowledge, and the dance recitals, and the county fairs share the sewing and woodwork projects, and it can be beautiful. It can and is beautiful if prepared for and "hoped for". If you can not HOPE for it --- it may be there but you just can not see IT.

So I float into my Easter to Labor Day "vacation". The part where I live in HOLY SPIRIT.Letting GOD and letting GO. Viewing things from a different perspective. Going on my trips, enjoying my garden, traveling, visiting family and friends, sharing my projects and enjoying others sharing their projects, getting out in nature. This long vacation idea probably came to me as a child. Easter to Labor Day Weekend was one long summer to me as a kid. And I loved it and still do.

Which would bring me back to September and another Happy New Year. A little older, A little wiser, but ready to do it again! It will be time to buckle down for another winter.....

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Ruth's Calendar--- The Season of HOPE

In my previous blog I stated my New Year starts in September. September is my month to clean, plan, start my year. I used the analogy of planning my garden and planting my bulbs into the ground. I compared the planting of the bulbs, to starting a school semester, to planning your goals for a years worth of accomplishments. So September to Christmas Realization I call the start of my New Year.

My Ruth calendar next moves into the season of HOPE. The new season starts the moment I experience that special touch of GOD during the Christmas season that I once again realize GOD's gift of the baby Jesus. It comes with a special song, a moving film, a Christmas card, a sermon or just a moment while in prayer. Each year I wait for "my gift" of HOPE. My gift of HOPE for a better tomorrow. My gift for a closer walk with God.

One year it came when I sent a Thomas Kinkade flower arrangement to a friend for her birthday in early December and I received a thank you letter telling me how very much it meant to her. I knew it was God that had directed me to send it that year.
This year was no different. God sent me a message of a healed heart. This year He used FACEBOOK. lol

I stated the season began on Christmas Eve because usually on Christmas Eve I have a moment to reflect on my glimpse of HOPE on that night. The birth of Jesus was the gift of HOPE. The gift of promise to salvation. The gift that led to the gift of the Holy Spirit.

So this next season in Ruth's Calendar is the time to reflect on the life of Jesus. The time to reveal in the words of Jesus. The time of preparing the soil, sowing of seeds, pruning back the grape vines, the time of wait, the time of honing our sense of prayer. Whereas we begun our studies in September, now we are embedding our lessons into our souls, our hearts, our minds. Hours spent in the garden gives us time to reflect on Jesus' words. Time to prune back the dead vines. Time to shape our rose bushes/trees.

Time of cold, time to just have faith of the good to come. Rain, rain and more rain. Time of violent Winds, winds tearing down of anything not solid to the ground. Time of revelation. Time for trail. Time to see that which will survive and that which will not be able to survive the harshness of the world.

The ocean beats against the shore, breaking, changing the earths surface.

Then March --- we start to see the new growth!! by the end of March -- flowers, including volunteer flowers. Rainbows, kites, the slow awakening of the earth from it's sleep. Baby animals, green hills, creeks full of water running down the hills.

This season started with the gift of HOPE, ends on Easter Sunday.
The Season of Hope is from Christmas to Easter.
Easter Sunday when we celebrate our fruition of salvation. Where there was HOPE now there is fulfillment. We now have the tools, opportunity, the abilities to "see forever".

On a Clear Day --You Can See Forever!

Our preparation, our planning, our believing, our faith, our honing of our prayers and Bible study now pays off!! Kids graduate! Gardens Bloom, Interest groups emerge with demonstrations of achievement, county fair admissions emerge, art, woodwork, sewing projects manifested during these cold days are revealed, Jesus Rises, The whole world celebrates.

The Season of HOPE is complete on Easter Sunday, we move to the Season of Fulfillment. God's promise is fulfilled with Jesus ascending from the tomb. And we are given the GIFT of enlightenment, guidance, protection of the Holy Spirit. We have moved another cycle up the spiral of spiritual enlightenment. We now see what brought fruit and that which did not bring fruit. Another lesson learned. Another year to observe, to grow, to learn.

So Today's date per Ruth's Calendar is The day 9,Season of Hope,year 60

Next blog: the Season of Fulfillment per Ruth's calendar.

Ruth's Calendar--- Happy New Year

Happy new Year --- I hear that quite a bit all through the year. There is the Chinese New Year Gung Hay Fat Cho, Hebrew New Year L'shanah tovah tikatev v'taihatem, Viet Namese New Year, so I am posting the year calendar as defined by Ruth.

The NEW YEAR is a time of reflection, preparation, cleaning, planning for a new start, the new year. All those things happen for me in September.

It follows the fluctuation of the patterns of the moon, my own bio-system, weather, planting seasons, life experiences and people that influenced me.

My New Year like the Jewish New Year is September. As mentioned above this is not a particular date but fluctuates:

Here are the Jewish New Year dates for 5 years according to the Georgian Calendar.
Jewish Year 5769: sunset September 29, 2008 - nightfall October 1, 2008
Jewish Year 5770: sunset September 18, 2009 - nightfall September 20, 2009
Jewish Year 5771: sunset September 8, 2010 - nightfall September 10, 2010
Jewish Year 5772: sunset September 28, 2011 - nightfall September 30, 2011
Jewish Year 5773: sunset September 16, 2012 - nightfall September 18, 2012

and Ruth's calendar also changes on a different date each year. Ruth's beginning of preparations for the New Years starts with the end of Labor Day weekend. Because a gating issue on Ruth's New year is the beginning of the school year. Preparation and celebrating the Ruth New Year is the following practices:

1--Cleaning the children's closets in preparation for new school clothes,
2--Setting up study areas for school work. Lots of Bible studies, interest group meetings, craft and cooking classes begin now also. The logic being summer vacation are complete. People will be settled to enjoy a new "start" of learning.
3-- Winterizing the home. Chalk the windows, clean the heater filters, bring in the patio furniture, covering the plants from frost.
4.--- remove debris, sweep up the leaves, clean the gutters,

Clean---to make room for the new!

and the New Year is complete when you plant the bulbs! Bulb planting day is truly a special day for Ruth.
Bulb planting day is Ruth's NEW YEAR's DAY.
To put to rest the seeds that will signify the next growth. the next life if you will. This follows a belief similar of God lying us to rest peacefully as we await our "new life".

The day after planting the bulbs I rest. I imagine my garden blooming in early spring. I look forward to seeing the results of my planting of the bulbs.

In honor of the Jewish (Old Testament) holiday,I eat apples dipped in honey, a symbol of a wish for a sweet new year.

In honor of the Italian farmers, I sip Lambrusco and spill a bit of the wine on my flowerbed. There is a sense of tradition, gratitude and faith in these small actions.

Another practice of the holiday practiced by the Jewish is Tashlikh ("casting off"). They walk to flowing water, such as a creek or river, on the afternoon of the first day and empty our pockets into the river, symbolically casting off their sins. Small pieces of bread are commonly put in the pocket to cast off. This practice is not discussed in the Bible, but is a long-standing custom.

Another version of this practice, not Jewish yet symbolic of casting off, is the burning bowl. On a sheet of paper place your thoughts on sins, unforgiving, burdens, strive. Start a fire (symbolic of purification by fire). Remove the slips of paper from your pockets. Place the paper in the fire to be burnt and sent to ashes.

The bulbs have been set, the next day was spent honoring the new year and releasing the past.

This is followed by the final preparations for Christmas. I strive to be done by Halloween. All the decorations for Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas are brought forth, reviewed and enjoyed. All gifts are purchased and wrapped minus the last ribbon tops. The ribbon tops seldom look fresh by Dec 25 if added in October.

Why Halloween?? Because Halloween was my grandson Willy's favorite holiday. And in truth the start of Will and my very busy time. Will looked forward to Halloween much like most children looked forward to Christmas. I wanted to be finished, relaxed to accommodate Willy with his enthusiasm.

Which places us immediately into Thanksgiving and my birthday. A time of personal gratitude and reflection.

Taking time to cherish and being grateful for my life, friends, and simple abundance.

And now December --- Birthdays in my family abound in October to December. and although we do not get together for each and every birthday-- I do reflect and choose to honor the day with my mindful presence. Being stress free from Christmas shopping, Christmas preparations allows me this luxury. Allows me to enjoy and celebrate my friends and myself in very special ways.

Being stress free allows me to focus on the celebrating of Jesus' birth. Tony and I attend church celebrations, special music programs, and enjoy all the celebrating going on around us. November and December is also a great time to plant the most important seeds of all. The seeds of kindness to others. With just a little bit of effort and a willingness to be open, you will find an opportunity for planting seeds during this season. Seeds of charity, seeds of HOPE, seeds for a new year.

Sharing at the Senior Center:

The first year I decided to be more mindful of Christmas celebrations, was the first year I saw the huge colorful ornaments in the mall. Was the first year I took time to sit and enjoy the school children singing in the mall, was the first year I went to San Francisco and walked floor by floor looking at the huge tree and it's decorations at the Newman Marcus. Taking time to sip tea on the top floor. And time to Thank God for all that I have.

I do still purchase gifts during these months but not with the mad rush as in years previously. Now it is with a blessed calm and true appreciation of the items purchased.

So that is Ruth's calendar approximately end of August to 24 December. It is the time to plant the seeds, the bulbs, the plans, the future. Planning, preparing and planting needs to be accomplished first, at the first of your year. I plant for that which I wish to sow in the new year.

Next season in Ruth calendar is the season of HOPE. The season of HOPE begins on Christmas EVE!!

I will post the SEASON OF HOPE in the next blog.